For those of you who don’t know, I’m adopted.  My mom is an amazing woman who I’m very lucky to have but she didn’t give birth to me.  Regardless, every year around my birthday she makes up an epic fantasy of a labor story and tells me about the day I was born.  Sometimes I’m dropped from the sky at her feet by a clumsy stork, other times she talks about how her water broke, or maybe it was just that she spilled something on herself that day.  It’s always done very tongue in cheek and even though I often meet these fantastical tales with a bit of an eye roll, they’re a lot more fun (and definitely lacking in the guilt department) than most people’s birth stories.  For some reason, “After 17 hours of back labor and 3 hours of pushing and 5 stitches…” just doesn’t have the same ring to it as my mom’s stories.   

This week my mom asked me if I’ve put any thought into the stories I plan to tell Marcail about her birth.  I hadn’t (I always assumed she’d get the guilt and pain ridden ones that other kids get), but of course, my mom has and it’s really too good to NOT share.  Here’s what she’s got so far…

“I thought you two might be too preoccupied with real stuff, so maybe Grandma can help start you off…

Ok, so you were working that day, at a big circus, you were the pink elephant trainer and Papa (Jason) worked the high wire (but he always uses a net cause Grandma is so squeamish & wants him around another 80 or so years)!  You felt your waters break but at the same moment the clowns all shot out of the cannon & 2 of them splashed into the 5 gallon water bucket, effectively concealing the event (by soaking you & Elfie the effelump) from the Crowned Prince & Princess of Wannawolfeutobia (a foreign country far, far away).  Papa Jason, however, caught the look on your face and gave the secret whistle & you held up your arms…Jason shot thru the sky, linking arms protectively and lifting you & still unborn Marcail effortlessly into the air (dribbling just a bit) over the fully packed bleachers and out the back of the tent…

 Do you want to take it from there?  You could drop lightly into the clown car for your trip to the hospital or ride the giraffes at breakneck speeds to the airport or just have Jason continue swinging you from vines till you reach the coast & a submarine…”

w/love,
Crystal

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